Cry
by MissteressSnape
Summary: What would you give to save the one you love? Your last breath prehaps? This is a charter study of Severus Snape.


04/22/04  
  
Cry  
  
All of Hogwarts was in an uproar; The Dark Lord had struck and been defeated. There was a feast being held in the Great Hall, to honor the heroes of this war, and to remember those who had fallen for the side of the light.  
  
Yet there was one whom wasn't in attendance. Severus Snape stood before the new stone monument on the grounds of Hogwarts. The snow swirled around him cold and bleak, but no more than his heart. Yet in the spring sun would one day warm these grounds, not his heart.  
  
Flashback  
  
The knock on his office door was soft as was the voice that followed it. "Professor, are you in?"  
  
"Come in." Snape sneered, not bothering to hide his contempt for the young Gryffindor.  
  
Hermione Granger entered the icy chamber her Professor chooses to occupy. Her eyes sought him out in the shadows, finding him much closer then she would have liked. Well, that wasn't the whole truth. Hermione thought a lot about Severus, often times she found it hard to concentrate in his presence.  
  
Now that it was time to face him alone, she thought about nothing, and everything all at once. The world seemed jumbled and her thoughts lost amongst the filing system in her mind.  
  
"Professor, I was sent to see you. I'm not in any trouble am I?" Her eyes were downcast, and there was a flush to her cheeks. Hermione felt the warmth creep over her cheeks, and hope that Professor Snape didn't notice.  
  
"No, you are to help me with something." He watched as relief washed over her.  
  
He saw the blush creep over her cheeks and knew that if he read her mind at that moment Severus Snape knew what he would find there. Hermione had made it clear that she took a fancy to him, even though the thought was beyond him. Why would such a young, smart, and not to mention beautiful girl want his attentions?  
  
Hermione was brought out of her reprieve with the sound of his silky voice. "Now, if there are no more silly questions I will fill you in, and we may get started."  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
She was a Gryffindor through and through. Never wavering from her sense of duty or courage. Something Severus grew to admire about her. One of the things that endeared her to him. Made it easy for him love her.  
  
The Potions Master now stood letting the sounds from the Great Hall drift out over him. Severus smiled at the thought of how loving she was with him. How she willingly over looked the darkness in his past, so she could see the light of his future. Their future.  
  
FLASH BACK  
  
Severus never heard the door to his chambers open; he was too lost in his third glass of Firewisky. This had been a ritual of his since he first received his Dark Mark. Every year on the anniversary of his initiation as a Deatheater, he would skulk about.  
  
She stood just within the shadows, for a long time just watching him. Trying with all her might to figure out what caused the sorrow in his eyes. Hermione looked on as Severus slowly rolled up his sleeve to reveal "The Dark Mark", she watched him trace over it with one long slender finger. So that was it! His sorrow steamed form regret.  
  
"Miss Granger, I assume you weren't raised in the wild." His voice was cold, perhaps colder than before.  
  
Hermione came forward, still staring at him, transfixed by the mark he bore. "Sorry, Professor. I was..."  
  
"You were just staring. What pray tell is so interesting? Perhaps you would like a closer look?" Severus Snape rose to his full height, smoothly moving over to where Hermione stood rooted to the spot.  
  
He grabbed a hand full of her honey curls, and brought his forearm up to her face, so that she would indeed have a better view. That was when Hermione surprised not only her Professor but also herself; she took his arm in both her hands and brought it up to her lips. Severus felt the feather light kiss, as it was placed over "The Dark Mark."  
  
END FLASH BACK  
  
Severus remembered that day as if it were yesterday. He had been furious at her for about ten minutes, or however long it took him to chide her, and send her away crying. He hadn't realized then that she loved him, or that he would ever love her.  
  
A lot had changed within their time together. Hermione had brought him to life. She had been to him the life among the dead. Severus smiled with the thought of their first time together.  
  
FLASH BACK  
  
Hermione stood before her cauldron adding the last ingredients for "Sleeping Death." Once done she looked over to Snape's desk, it was empty. 'Where had he gone off to now?'  
  
She hadn't had to wonder for too long, she felt his arms snake around her waist, his voice a whisper of satin over bare skin. "You can't imagine what the sight of you does to me, Miss Granger."  
  
A soft sigh escaped her lips as she leaned into him. There was something she wanted to say, but his lips on her neck stopped her. Severus' mouth was hot against her icy skin, sending lightning through her. He turned her than and picked her up, carrying her to his bedchamber.  
  
Severus placed her on the velvet comforter, standing back to take in her beauty. Wondering for the briefest of moments what he had done to deserve such a gift. Hermione Granger, Gryffindor know-it-all, Head Girl, possibly the only other person in the history of Hogwarts to score as high as himself and McGonagall on her O.W.L.S. She was a gift from above; she would be his, and no one else's.  
  
Hermione was thoroughly loved when the Potions Master was done that evening. Never had anyone cherished her in the same way. Severus taught her what the heights of passion were, and how she could not only please him, but please herself as well.  
  
END FLASH BACK  
  
The snow still swirled like tiny dancers about him. He stood there as still as the statue before him, it didn't appear that he had been there before this moment; yet he had earlier in the day. The storm had erased the tracks, but nothing could erase the tracks she had made on his heart.  
  
Severus was a jealous and guarded man, so much so that at times he thought he might loose Hermione to another. That is why it came as no surprise to him when he met her at a Dark Ravel.  
  
FLASH BACK  
  
She sat at the feet of the Dark Lord, her satin gown was the color of blood to match her lips, and Voldemort kept his hand at the base of her neck. Severus knew Hermione had seen him within the ranks of the Deatheaters, he made sure she had. 'The damn little chit, was a traitor.' That was the only conscious thought he had.  
  
He knew his end was coming this night, he had known it for sometime. Severus' usefulness had run out, and now nothing could save him. Or so he thought.  
  
"Come forward, Severus." Voldemort, who was now the good old Tom Riddle, thanks to the fruitful search for the second Philosophers stone, hissed.  
  
Slowly Severus made his way through the ranks of Deatheaters. He knelt, head bowed before his master, now at eye level with Hermione.  
  
"Tell me Severus, why should I keep you with us after this night, when I can tell you have designs for my new little pet?" Voldemort's hand now rested upon Hermione's head and began to stroke her like a cat.  
  
"My Lord, I don't know what you mean. I have just found out about your new pet, as you call her, and would never covet what is yours." At that moment Severus met Hermione's eyes, and saw the pleading just beneath the surface. Although he wanted to throttle her for what she had done to him, he held his tongue, and would not speak against her.  
  
Voldemort rose from his chair, and raised his wand. Yet Hermione was quicker, she turned her pleading eyes upon her master. "Please, master, let me keep him. I would never ask for such a thing, but he might be useful. He could teach me all he knows, and then my Lord if it pleased you, I could end his miserable existence for you. "  
  
Voldemort turned his serpent like gaze upon Hermione, a small smile pulling at the corners of his thin mouth. "Well, if it will make my pet happy, I shall spare you for now, Severus."  
  
The Dark Lord took a hand full of Hermione's hair and pulled her up by it. What happened next had been enough to push Severus completely over the edge; Voldemort brought his lips down in a crushing kiss to meet hers. Hermione hadn't even bothered to pull away. Merlin, it appeared as if she was enjoying it. Just as the thought ran across Severus' mind Voldemort pulled away from the kiss, and ran his tongue down her throat, forcing a sigh to escape Hermione's lips.  
  
"You," Voldemort nodded his head in Severus' direction, "Get back with the rest of them." Still holding Hermione, the Dark Lord turned his attention to the rest of the room. "I give to you, my queen, give to her the respect you give to me. Hermione is to rule by my side from this night forth."  
  
Severus hadn't heard the rest of the speech that was given; he had been too caught up in his own thoughts. Had the world gone made around him? Or had she just been a wanton tramp the whole time she had him believing he was loved? Could the one woman he finally given his heart to be such a shameless exhibitionist? Was it Voldemort Hermione thought of when Severus made love to her?  
  
After four decades of life Severus Snape finally knew what it was like to feel pain. No, not just any pain, but the pain of a broken heart. The same pain his mother must have felt when she found out about him following the Dark Lord. It could not have been worst if a Dementor sucked the soul out of him right then and there.  
  
The room had grown quite with the last of the Deatheaters departure; Severus made his way for the door. "And where are you going, Severus?"  
  
Snape turned around on his heel; Deatheater robes billowing out about him; his eyes downcast, "Yes, master."  
  
"Assist my pet in going home. See to her needs, and give her anything she desires. Obey her as you have me." The Dark Lord released her from his hold, allowing Hermione to go to Severus.  
  
Hermione dared not look at either of them. Severus took her by the hand and led her out of the room, and into the entrance hall of Voldemort's new strong hold. Into the night he took Hermione, keeping her close to him, even though to touch her brought Severus great pain.  
  
As soon as they had put enough distance between them and Voldemort, Hermione found her voice, "Severus, I..."  
  
"Save your lies for someone else." He snapped. No, he wasn't going to allow this charade to continue. No longer would he be a fill in for The Dark Lord. As soon as they got back to Hogwarts, Severus was going to seek out Albus. Then everything would be set to rights.  
  
There was silence between them as Severus gathered Hermione into his arms and apperating them back into Hogsmead. Once there Severus continued to glare straight ahead of them as if Hermione wasn't even there.  
  
"Ouch. Could you let up on the grip a little Professor Snape?" Hermione's voice dripped with anger, and he felt her tug at her wrist.  
  
There was an undertone of hurt to her voice that only infuriated Severus more. He didn't slacken his grip or slow down, they were almost at the gates of Hogwarts, and soon Severus was going to get to the bottom of this.  
  
Hermione followed tripping up the walk to the castle entrance every so often. But she said no more about how much he was hurting her. He was taking her somewhere so he could yell and scream at her, or was he taking her to Albus? Either way she hoped they would get there soon.  
  
Through the castle Severus pulled her, not stopping to notice the looks they were receiving from staff and students alike. Finally there before them stood the Griffon guarding the Headmaster's entrance. "Mint Humbug" Severus sneered.  
  
Albus Dumbledore looked up from the papers on his desk. "Severus, to what to I owe this pleasure?"  
  
"Albus, I found this." Severus thrust Hermione in front of the Headmaster. Causing her to loose her footing, and bump into the desk. "It seems Miss Granger has been enjoying the company of the Dark Lord."  
  
Albus stood up, coming around to check if Hermione was ok. "Severus calm down. There is no need to loose your head. I know all of this."  
  
"You know what? That one of your students is throwing herself at the Dark Lord like a Moodblood whore. That she is now his "queen" and..."  
  
Hermione had begun to sob into her hands. "That will be enough Severus! You will not speak about a young woman like that in my presence again! Really I thought you had out grown such petty ideas" Albus had lost all patience with the Potions Master's child like behavior. "I am well aware of Miss Granger's involvement with Voldemort and that is all you need to know. Good day sir."  
  
Snape turned to look at Hermione with narrowed eyes, his voice but a hiss of sound, "I understand Headmaster." There was still other ways to know what was going on.  
  
Both Hermione and Severus took their leave from Albus' office. He started down to the dungeons, noticing Hermione close behind him. "Miss Granger, your rooms are in the other direction. Or were you looking for something you lost?"  
  
Severus knew his words had cut her deep, and he took a small comfort in the idea that he had wounded her. "Sir, I was coming to collect my things from your rooms. Or does it bother you to be seen with the likes of me?"  
  
How dare she bait him like this? As they passed an empty classroom, Severus grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside with him. After warding the door and adding a silencing charm, he turned on her.  
  
Severus trapped her between himself and the stone wall, pressing his body against hers. He caught her eyes with his as he tired to probe her mind, finding only that he couldn't. Severus hadn't taught Hermione how to block her mind to him, and he was sure Dumbledore was too busy. So that only left Voldemort. The lying little whore.  
  
Despite all of this Severus felt his body grow hard from her body against his. "Remember this, Hermione, you are mine, and mine alone. Wither you like it or not. No one else will quench the fire in your soul. You will never escape me." His breath was warm against her ear.  
  
Hermione shivered, but wither it was from fear or excitement he didn't care. Severus took her mouth in a bruising kiss, and then as quickly as it came it was gone. There was nothing he found out, besides the fact that Hermione was helping Dumbledore in the fight for good.  
  
END FLASH BACK  
  
A tear escaped Severus' eye, and fell upon the lettering of the statue. If only he had known that would be his last chance. Maybe, he would have told Hermione all he wanted to say? Would she have forgiven him for what he had called her? Even now the words echoed through his mind, like the humming of bees.  
  
Yet there was no going back, his time had passed. Severus remembered the looks she had given him as they past each other in the halls after that evening. Hermione wore a look of total regret. But what was it she regretted? Loving Severus Snape, most hated Potions Master, or having been found with her other lover?  
  
FLASH BACK  
  
The war came, and the wards about Hogwarts fell. Voldemort thought he had won; yet the Moodblood he had taken as his 'Dark Queen' orchestrated his demise. There before a room full of captured Phoenix members and Albus Dumbledore, she handed the Dark Lord a cup.  
  
They were to toast their victory. Hermione brought her glass to her lips and Voldemort followed suite. They drank deep, and the Dark Lord dropped his glass to clutch his throat. He fell before his Deatheaters,  
  
Voldemort had been poisoned. Hermione now fulfilled her end of a bargain with Albus; all that was left was for the Headmaster to keep his word. If he did, Severus would soon be free to choose whether he wished to continue teaching or not. That was the bargain, her help for Severus' freedom from his double life.  
  
The Order members broke free of their binds and begun to duel with the Deatheaters. That is when Lucious snuck up behind Hermione, for he knew full well she was the only one who could have done it and yelled "Advar Kadaver." A green light filled the room, and Hermione fell.  
  
It didn't take long for Voldemort's followers to be brought under control. When all the wands had been put away, and the last of the Deatheaters were being carted off Severus spotted her among the fallen.  
  
There was no time for Severus to think; in an instant he held her now lifeless body in his arms. His face was buried in her busy mane of hair; nothing seemed real, as the sounds of the wounded filled the room.  
  
A hand now rested on Severus shoulder, "She will be missed, Severus." Dumbledore's words held little comfort.  
  
"Damn you this is all your fault! You know, and did nothing about it." The Potions Master didn't bother to look up at Albus, he just continued to rock back and forth with Hermione in his arms.  
  
Albus placed a letter onto the fallen girls lap, "She wanted you to have this, should anything happen."  
  
Hermione had been laid to rest that evening, with all her friends in attendance. There were tears, and heartfelt words, but none of them seemed to catch her essence. It seemed to Severus that no one not even her close friends, Ron and Harry, had known her. Not the way he did.  
  
END FLASH BACK  
  
From within the pocket of his robes, Severus Snape pulled out the letter she had left for him...  
  
My Dearest Severus,  
  
If you are reading this letter it means I will not be able to share with you the future I had dreamed of for us. Yet, know that wherever I may be I love you still. There isn't much time now, I wish I could have explained all of this to you face to face. But Albus and I decided it was better if you didn't know of my duplicity.  
  
You must know this, though, I did it all for you. I have made a deal with the Headmaster, and as you can tell I have held up my end of the deal. If Albus is true to his word, he will hold up his. And now you are free to live your life how you choose. I guess that means that there will be no more Dunderheads in your life.  
  
I never wanted anything more than to love you. Severus, you never even had to love me in return. My heart is breaking as I write these words, but I am comforted with the thought that you may go on and live the life you were denied for so long.  
  
Remember me always. And if you ever find the time think of us as we could have been.  
  
In Love Always,  
  
Hermione  
  
Severus Snape folded up the letter, and let the tears fall freely. There was no life left for him with out Hermione. No reason to go on, except that she had asked him to. No longer would he have to lie about his loyalties, or answer a call he wanted nothing to do with.  
  
Hermione had given him the gift of life, which had cost her, her own. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he, Severus Snape, was the one who would be martyred. Damn her and her Gryffindor nobility. She was young and had a lot of life and love left to give, so why was it that she was dead and he still lived.  
  
What a waste of talent, and courage. From her unselfish act was born a new man, a man who surely not give up teaching. He would forge on in memory of Hermione, not allowing her sacrifice to go to waste. And surely he could this for woman who had given her life for his freedom to choose.  
  
So he would go and face the crowds of fresh faces and wide innocent eyes with the knowledge that if things had been different she would be by his side. 


End file.
